this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
