Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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