I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
