Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
