Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Is Oprah even human
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
