I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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