votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
