party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
