I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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