I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
