maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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