I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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