im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
