let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
