just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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