i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
