Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just want nice things and good sex
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
