Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
