so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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