i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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