Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
