Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
