Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
