She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
