Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.

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(310): View more from California

she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.

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(562): View more from California

I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.

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