so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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