what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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