Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
No...this little piggys going to the bar
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
