The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
