I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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