i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
