I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
