This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
