you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
