hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
