why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
