Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize