You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
