In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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