are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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