You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
