Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
