you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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