Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
