He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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