I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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