all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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