FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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