after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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