Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
