I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
